


Ben Teaches Finn How To Get A Girl

by Bakasta64



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Don’t ask me for context, I wrote this on a whim, Parody, Yeah it’s low effort so what?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:27:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28396890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bakasta64/pseuds/Bakasta64
Summary: Ben teaches a class on getting GFs and Finn is in the class somehow.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Ben Teaches Finn How To Get A Girl

Ben: Alright class today we are learning how to get sexy hoes all over you! 

Finn: Um.. I don’t think women like men talking about them like that. 

Ben: Nonsense! First lesson, ladies respect men who don’t respect them! Now, repeat after me! You’re nobody, you’re nothing. 

Finn: That’s... kinda rude. 

Ben: That’s the point! Now, let’s go on to our next lesson! It’s important to make sure your girl knows she’s nothing without you. Telling her that you are the sole person who knows her, that you’re the one man who really cares about her, or that her only value is in relation to you will make them swoon all over you! 

Finn: You know, that’s kinda low key sexist. 

Ben: You know what they say, nice guys finish last! Next let’s go over how you start a conversation with a girl. What you’re gonna want to do first is kidnap them, take them back to your place, and bind them in place somewhere that’ll be hard to escape from. 

Finn: … 

Ben: Then you’re free to ask and talk about whatever you like! Don’t worry if they want to talk or if they feel something is too personal, just force it out of them. Oh and by the way, don’t be concerned for the girl, it’s actually very comfortable being confined to one spot for a long period of time, trust me. 

Finn: Sure, sure. 

Ben: Lastly, and this is the most important part so you better pay attention, you gotta make sure no one stands in your way between you and your crush. Take out any potential threats quickly so they are in a place of vulnerability. Family members? Kill them. Friends? Kill them. Potential love interests for her? Make sure to brutalize them while she watches to send your point across! If they have no one else to turn to then surely they’ll come to you! 

Finn: Hey, I’ve thought of one more lesson that I feel is very important! 

Ben: What is it? 

Finn: Survive the first kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I am the most petty man on the planet. No, I will never stop dunking on this dumb ass ship. LMFAO


End file.
